About Haddayr Copley-Woods

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I am a scifi/fantasy writer, radio commentator, and essayist with pieces and performances in places such as Minnesota Public Radio, Apex, Story Club Minneapolis, Science Fiction & Fantasy, and Best American Erotica.

I write dark fantasy and horror short stories. My radio commentaries, essays, and spoken-word performances cover disability issues, community, queerness, and politics. Most of these are available to watch or read free online and linked above. I also write the advice column “Bitter Butch” at bitterempire.com.

I live with my weird, wonderful, unconventional and sprawling family in Minneapolis.

If you’d like, visit me at Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or email me at haddayr@gmail.com.

The views I express in this blog are purely my own and not that of any entity which may hire my services or employ me.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Thank Someone For an Offensive Gift?

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. . . It was a Christian/Inspirational autobiography by a woman with polio, all about how turning her life over to Jesus helped her overcome her depression and the tragedy of her affliction.

Not only had I never thought of my cerebral palsy as a tragic affliction, at the time, I was a budding Neo-Pagan witch. Mostly, though, it hurt — because it was obvious that this woman wasn’t remembering me, at all — she’d never taken the time to know me in the first place. For a dozen years, she’d been obsessing over her own fears of disability and soaking them in pity. And that book just proved it.

Still, my mother insisted I write this woman a “Thank you” letter, because it was a gift, and the woman meant well, and that’s the gracious thing to do. . .

Read the full letter and my response at BitterEmpire.com.

Strange Hobbies

minnesota-state-fairDo you enjoy stepping directly in the path of a person in a wheelchair and then just sort of standing there vaguely?
 
Or maybe do think there’s nothing better than walking at a smooth pace and then suddenly stopping for no discernible reason, no matter who is behind you?
 
How about walking straight ahead while looking off sharply over your left shoulder directly into the path of an oncoming wheelchair?
 
You should go to the #mnstatefair. Your people are waiting for you.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Let Him Down Gently Without Breaking His Heart?

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In which I tell a woman to RUN RUN RUN from an infatuated Internet admirer.

Dear Bitter Butch,

I am newly single, and have just started playing the online dating game. So far, I’ve been having a blast. I love dating in my 40s, as I am older and wiser, and can weed out the drama so much better than when I was in my 20s.

I’ve been talking to several guys, and I’m actually making connections with some of them. Overall, it’s been a great experience. But I have one guy that I’m just not sure what to do with, and I’m looking for feedback.

Puppylove (my nickname for him) is completely infatuated with me. He’s 46, military, and from what I can tell, is the sweetest guy in the world. There is nothing that he says that I don’t think is genuine. But, he feels a chemistry that I don’t . . . 

Read the rest of the letter and my answer at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Deal With My Beyond Difficult Ex?

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Dear Bitter Butch,

I spent eight terrible years in a relationship with a crazy person. I mean she is certifiably batshit crazy. (I was in a bad place, what can I say?) We’ve been apart for four years now. I have a wonderful new partner who is perfectly sane. I often get threatening texts from the crazy ex-girlfriend. She even texted my new gal a few times. It’s very upsetting for me. I have a child with this crazy person, so I can’t make a total break from her, no matter how much I want to. Do you have any advice on how to deal with my crazy bitch ex?

– Baffled Boi

Dear Baffled Boi,

You don’t sound baffled to me.

You sound really, really, really angry. Read the rest at bitterempire.com.

Local State Rep PEGGY FLANAGAN is first Native woman to speak at the DNC!!!

“Your name is NOT Pocahantas. . . . despite everything that has happened to our people, and no matter what Donald Trump says: WE ARE STILL HERE.”

PeggyFlanagan

https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4615831/state-representative-peggy-flanagan

Oh, Peggy I am so damn proud of you and your writing and your speaking and your hard work for all of us. I am so proud to know you.

Dear Bitter Butch: What Can I Do About the Office Skeeve?

secretary-157444_1280Dear Bitter Butch,

One of the senior executives at my workplace is a bit of a skeeze in that he showers women at our workplace with ambiguously inappropriate attention. From what I’ve seen, the attention ranges from overly friendly hugs, to hands at the small of the back when opening doors, to fairly frequent office visits with small presents like pieces of chocolate.

. . . read the rest, and my answer, at bitterempire.com.

Please help save Trans Lifeline!

DONATE HERE.

From their Facebook Page:

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I need your help to save Trans Lifeline. We applied for grants aggressively this year but were turned down by everyone but the Trans Justice Funding Project and Horizons Foundation. Pride season was pretty much a bust for fundraising and now we are in dire straights. Members of our community have given so much to keep this going and I’m deeply humbled and moved by the sacrifices that trans people continue to make for each other. I’m writing this from a desert in Utah on the way to L.A. where we are hoping to make some fundraising progress. We’ve been driving out here and sleeping in our van for five days. We are nearing the end of what we can do personally to keep this going. Current events being what they are we are seeing repeated spikes in call volume. Your help is critical.

– Greta Gustava Martela

http://www.translifeline.org/donate

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Haddayr again. I am so disheartened that foundations that supposedly are for GLBT communities are not funding this desperately-needed resource for the most vulnerable of us. Please donate if you can.